Nobel Prize 2015 - Male's Missing Sense Discovered

It is the time the Nobel prizes are awarded. I know there is no prize for Psychology, (the prize committee has always stretched the Medicine prize to cover a lot of territory) but perhaps one of you budding young neurophysiologists is looking for a Nobel-worthy project. I believe I have found one.

We know there are differences in the brains of men and women, but they are subtle and not very remarkable. This is because we males have been dense and disbelieving. Women must actually have the facility to read minds. I know that stuff is for the left coast, new age, para-psuedoscience crowd but the evidence is becoming overwhelming.

Take this past week, and just one female in my life. I think the mind-reading faculty is most evident in teenage girls, or at least they do not have the fully developed facility to hide it that adult females do.

My daughter is 15. She is very active and besides being an honor student, is an exceptional dancer, and now is involved in drama at school so there are very few nights where we get to sit down and eat as a family but that is the topic of another rant. This means she comes home any time between 6:30 and 9 PM most days. She is hungry, naturally, and her first activity upon arrival home is to open the refrigerator and look for food. Those of you who have teenagers know the second activity is to exclaim “There is nothing to eat.” This is a required response, whether the cupboard is bare or I have just returned with $200 worth of groceries. Now this is where, as a male, lacking the ability to read her mind I invariably respond “What would you like to eat?” Then comes the look, not quite a rolling of the eyes but a definite look of disdain for a lower creature on the Tree of Life. I realize that is when the mind-reading ability should come in to play, and she obviously doesn’t realize I am incapable of it.

Now this scenario played out to an extreme last Thursday. The lovely girl was harried, overworked, frazzled, a very volatile state for a fifteen year old female. To compound the danger, the food situation was rather low. Not that we were in danger of famine, but the choices were limited to maybe the menu of a good size diner. However, she was not interested in any of the choices available, naturally.

My lack of anticipating the dietary needs of the young lady put her into the funk that only a fifteen year old female can feel. My heart was broken, again. As it was I had to go out to the store for something completely unrelated to he dinner, namely my own ice cream. I magnanimously asked the princess if I could get her something to eat. After a few perfunctory huffs and puffs, she consented to allow me to get her ‘a sandwich from the deli’. Now I am not a total idiot, I could smell trouble. To forestall the inevitable “You KNOW I don’t like…”

I asked, innocently “what type of sandwich?”

“Anything, as long as it doesn’t have anything gross..”

This was a sure recipe for failure. So I pressed her gingerly, “And by gross we mean..”

“You know, like tomatoes”

“Perhaps a chicken pesto panini like your brother brought you the other day?”

“You KNOW I hate pesto.”

Well, perhaps I did, at one time know that.. but I have no recollection. I did know she was not partial to green things in her foods.”

Well I went to the store, perused the sandwiches, and settled on a chicken caesar panini. This was well thought out. She only likes one type of salad, Caesar, and she has ordered a Caesar salad out, as a meal. This was safe. I was almost sure. But just to be certain, I picked up one of those ready to heat up lasagna dinners. I KNOW lasagna is her favorite eating out dish.

Feeling secure again in my role as provider I brought the two items, as well as my own ice cream, home. Smiling I presented them to the lady, expecting at least a noncommittal grunt.

“What were you thinking Dad? A sandwich made out of salad? Lasagna from a grocery store?” You should know..”

And there it is. I should know. And therefore I am encouraging all the young ambitious scientists looking for a Nobel prize worthy goal. Please find out how I can know. If we are expected to know there must be a way.